How to Behave Badly
by EyesxWidexShut
Summary: Sam pov oneshot. Sam knows how to behave badly, but..


(A/N: This is my first fanfiction ever! Well, the first one I've published, anyways. I'm a long-time Seddie shipper, and have probably read all the Seddie stories here on fanfiction. I hope y'all like it- please drop a review. Btw, I'm not sure the carly quote is totally right, I searched and searched on the internet for the correct version, if I need to edit it- please tell me!)

**Disclaimer: **I do not own iCarly. If I did, yeah, that'd be great, but... I don't. I don't own the dictionary either! Sheesh.

How to Behave Badly

Bad∙ly [**bad**-lee] adv: In a wicked, evil, or morally or legally wrong way; in a disobedient, naughty, or ethically or socially wrong way.

I've gotten too many detentions to count. Probably around an average of 3 a week. Maybe more. You can do the math- I hate math.

I pushed Frankie off a tree in the 5th grade and broke his leg.

I would choose my mother over ham.

I give wedgies and regularly induce pain in other people.

I shove the blame of my actions on other people. (Usually Carly, Gibby, or Freddie)And if I didn't- I would be expelled.

I called Freddie's mom a "mess of a women" to her face.

I take Carly's food all the time.

I have borrowed money and never paid it back.

I hit that stupid dinosaur when they tried to make our web show a television sitcom. Oh, well. He did deserve it.

I can lock-pick pretty much anyone's house/business/school.

I stole a sandwich from Carly. But that did make us friends, right?

I hurled an apple at Freddie.

I traded my best friend's present to me she made for scalped tickets.

I've stolen hand-cuffs from cops.

At that, I've ran away from cops.

I can flip security guards- a.k.a: pretty much anyone.

I attached Jonah to a wedgie bounce for more than two hours on a live feed. Well, he did cheat on me- doesn't that count for "comeuppance" or whatever?

I pantsed Freddie in front of the entire school.

I put bleu cheese dressing in his shampoo.

I've sent is phone to Cambodia. Illegally, I might add.

I've spat on a bus. (It's apparently some weirdo law in Seattle, and your truly just had to be like the only person ever to be ticketed by a obese cop for it.)

And much, much more.

It's simple and plain: Sam Puckett behaves badly. It's like all these laws I break- everybody knows them. They all know I behave badly.

But despite all my law-breaking and rude antics, all of which totally fit the definition of badly-

What all those people don't know is my worst offenses. Plural because they happen on a daily basis.

Carly said, "Sam may be annoying and obnoxious, but she doesn't lie."

Ha, she didn't even begin to have a clue how wrong she was.

When I say dork, I mean my dork. It's in a good way, but you can't get it through your thick brain that I'm not insulting you!

When I tell you you smell, look weird, are too geeky for anyone- I'm lying.

I always lie to you, and it hurts, hurts so bad.

And then now! When I told everyone how you hadn't had your first kiss yet… I feel terrible. The most just plain miserable I've ever felt. More than when Jonah cheated on me, more than when I realize my mom doesn't love me like she should, more than when every guy who looks at Carly and not ever me.

I'm so, so, sorry. I meant EVERYTHING when I said sorry for everything. Even the things you don't know about.

And then! Then, when we kissed…

Oh, when we …kissed?

I finished your sentence, saying it was…nice?

_Nice_? It was much, much more than that. It was magnificent, crazy, brilliant, sweet, just plain _indescribable_. It made me feel the best I've ever felt.

You're as exceptional a kisser as I thought you would be. And it's not just because I'm biased.

And then, then when I left.

You said, "Hey."

My heart skipped a beat when I turned around.

"I hate you" Why were you smiling like that? What was that glint in your eyes?

I was probably just lying to myself. I do it all the time anyway.

And then, then, I delivered my best lie yet:

"I hate you too."

Bad∙ly [**bad**-lee] adv: Very much; to a great extent or degree, severely; direly.

The truth?

I love you- badly.


End file.
